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Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Ending World Cockroach Hunger

Global Warming—aka Climate Change—is certainly a contentious subject. Two phrases come to mind: "The Debate Is Over," and "Hide The Decline." Two epithets come to mind: "Climate Deniers," and "Warmists." Two philosophies come to mind: "inequality is wrong," and "survival of the fittest."

The former—Democrats—want to be Robberhoods and take from those who have wealth and spread it around to those who don't, while the latter, believe that actions and results should bear their own attending rewards and punishments, as they deserve. Democrats think populism is great! They simply parrot whatever the majority are already saying. "The rich are too rich." "The middleclass is suffering." "The poor are too poor." "Inequality is the malady of the day, and we should do away with it." Meanwhile the latter believe that you get what you earn. You live the way you deserve through your own achievements.

Democrats—who want everybody to be absolutely equal—are the primary believers in climate change. Well, isn't that special!?

Climate Change—by the way—is the belief that the richest nations in the world are screwing over the poorest nations. The fact that this idea is so perfectly similar to the idea that the richest individuals in society are screwing over the poorest individuals is <sarc>a completely unrelated coincidence, I'm certain!</sarc>.

If only we could make everybody perfectly equal! Sadly—or perhaps happily—that is not possible. For eons, mankind has competed against each other. Those who succeeded lived and bore their children, while those who failed, did not. Today, that idea is old-fashioned. It's no longer about competing, having children and raising them, it's about being popular! How many facebook friends do you have? How many Twitter followers? Did you get your degree in woman / black / alternative lifestyle studies? Great! You'll need to come up with a couple hundred thousand dollars to pay that off but ... seriously so what? If you play your cards right I bet that it's entirely possible a future Democratic president will simply sign into law a bill that completely forgives all your student loan debt ... because the bank has and you do not. The store has and you do not. The professors have and you do not. The rich have and you do not.


Because McDonalds will keep making Big Macs for the government to take. Because the rich will keep making money for the government to take. Because the rich countries will keep making money to send to the poor countries ... No! They wont! Furthermore, if you could somehow keep the productive working for the welfare of the unproductive, the only thing you'd be guaranteed of, is a massive population increase. You don't believe me? Fine ... Let's do a little thought experiment...

Imagine a family of rats...or cockroaches...or ticks. You go ahead and pick your useless parasite. Could be leaches, could be mosquitos, could be some kind of E. coli bacteria; it doesn't matter for our purposes. The important thing to remember is that whatever parasite you choose, it is defined by its complete uselessness. It produces nothing, it helps no one, it lives only for itself and to produce more of its kind. Now then, imagine a family of those parasites living in your home or your body or your clothing, wherever they'd normally infest. You look upon these parasites with tender concern. Are they doing well? Do they have plenty of food? A warm comfortable environment to live? Is there anything you—as a generous well-meaning host can provide them that will make their lives better? So lets say you picked a handful of cockroaches to look after. You feed your cockroaches. You provide water. When they have a new brood of little cockroaches you provide a warm safe environment and lots of TLC. You little Philoblattamist you! Your little family will need plenty of room to grow. If you run out of room in your own house, you'll need to provide additional homes. If you find that there aren't enough hours in the day to feed and worry over your millions of hungry cockroach mouths, then you'll need to hire some helpers. If you run out of money for all of the above you'll need to apply for a government grant.

As your cockroach population increases at an exponential rate, you'll need to consider ways to control that population. Perhaps you can convince the female cockroaches to terminate their pregnancies early. (I don't know if there's such a thing as a cockroach abortion but these are the sorts of things you'll have to look into.) In spite of all your care, your hope, your good wishes, you'll probably find that the teeming multitudes of cockroaches don't reciprocate in terms of either gratitude, or with keeping their cockroach neighborhoods clean and sanitary. You'll need to provide clean up crews, sanitation workers, health care workers, and DCS workers. (Department of Cockroach Services.) Keep in mind that your job will never get easier only harder. If you do it well however, the day will probably come when you will be the proud caretaker of a trillion cockroaches. Well Done!

Obviously the above example is silly. It was meant to be. It does however illustrate the point I'm trying to make. If people who don't work are given money, and if you give them even more money for each additional child they have, you are incentivizing unemployment, and you are also incentivizing bearing additional children. You will never get employment, what you will get is more children—lots more children, children who grow up to do what their parents did for a living...have lots of children.

But how does all this welfare discussion relate to global warming? Well, they're just similar examples of the same underlying misguided philosophy, the belief that the "state" can do a better job running our lives than we can. Obviously they are catastrophically mistaken.

The Global Warming movement is essentially a plan to transfer the wealth of wealthy industrial nations to primitive third world nations. The usual bills I've seen failing to pass in Congress involve allotting a certain number of "carbon credits" to businesses for the amount of carbon dioxide they are permitted to emit and then requiring them to purchase additional carbon credits in the global marketplace for excess CO2 emitted. It's important to remember that many countries with few or no factories, few automobiles, would be issued these carbon credits by population or perhaps land area and they could then sell these credits—unnecessary credits in their agrarian non-industrial country—in the global market. This is nothing less than global wealth redistribution. It's feeding the cockroaches on a global scale.

You think global warming's a problem now, wait till there's fifteen billion people crowding around the empty trough.

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