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Sunday, February 7, 2016

Sunday Short Story: Slave Collar

Jack was hard at work, feeling the euphoric buzz of a job well done. With more than eight hours in, he had less than four to go. Sorting fruit was an important job. Even at the acme of machine intelligence, somehow robot sensors and robot touch were still unable to distinguish the difference between a good apple and a bad one, a spoiled strawberry or a fresh one. Jack was a half-lifer. It was twelve on twelve off every day, day after day. For Jack the days of the week blended together into a sameness that held little meaning. The difference between weekends and weekdays held little significance for half-lifers.

His family—consisting of his wife and four boys—were taken care of through the sacrifice of his time and efforts. After forty years at half-life, he'd be able to retire with full benefits. It wasn't the best life, but it was a lot better than some had it. Jack was sanguine about the whole thing. Glass half-full was his motto. With the collar on, his job—though boring—was nevertheless enjoyable. As he diligently sorted good from bad, tiny jolts of pleasure would periodically course from the collar through his body. If he let his mind wander though, if he didn't attend to his conveyer belt responsibly and efficiently the collar would instead course jolts of pain though him.

In Jack's world there was still free speech. You wouldn't be jailed for running your mouth. Lots of people spent their days doing just that. Of course, everything has consequences, doesn't it? Run your mouth if you want to, but don't expect to find a job, ever. Don't expect food on the table. Don't expect a roof over your head. If you want to run your mouth and live on the street, go ahead. Maybe somebody will take pity on you and palm you a credit or two. That will probably be enough for one of those rejected fruits that Jack occasionally picked off the line and dumped in the reject bin.

The funny thing about half-life, the thing that ate at Jack as he examined and gently poked at the produce quietly passing him by, was the sheer pointlessness of everything. You couldn't call it a slave collar if you were allowed to take it off at the end of the day, could you? If you were the one who put the collar on, and you were the one who took if off, then it's not a slave collar, no matter what homeless vagrants claimed, right?

There weren't many jobs available these days. Most people lived on minimum. Minimum means you don't have a job but at least you don't run your mouth. You get a kennel by yourself and your daily kibble. The daily ration is called kibble because of it's resemblance in taste and texture to something that was once fed to the extinct domestic animal called "dog." Some oldsters years ago had told Jack about "dogs." Some had even claimed they owned one.

What was the point, Jack thought. Why do we need fruit? Why do we need people? The machines do everything anyway. Jack thought about the jobs that people did. They babysat children. They cared for the elderly and sick. They taught children and youth basic math, literature, and history. But why? Everything humans do, is only for humans. The machines would keep doing what they did whether every human on Earth was dead or alive. In fact, as he thought about it, it was the humans who were dependent on the machines. They don't need us, we need them! The thought wasn't a new thought, it was a time-worn channel burned into his brain after decades of sorting good from bad. Jack could tell at a glance or a touch when something rotten was passing him by. In his off hours as he wandered the streets of New York, he saw a lot of rotten passing by.

If people aren't useful why are we still here? What good are we? That was it. That was the thing that drove Jack nearly mad. The machines keep us around, but I don't know why! A jolt of pain stabbed through Jack. He snapped to attention and focused on his job. Strawberries look for bad strawberries!

Jack's plan for the future was to watch his children grow up, hopefully gain employment doing something useful. Except that damn voice in his head kept screaming that it's all so pointless. How can you do anything useful when nothing matters! People don't matter. The machines run this whole world and we are a forgotten strawberry quietly rotting in the bottom of a useless refrigerator that is no longer necessary because food is no longer necessary to people who are no longer necessary!

If I could turn it all off, every machine, I would, he thought. If I could somehow go back in time and tell everyone—all the programmers, technicians, engineers, and scientists to stop doing what they're doing. Stop! You're making your own existence absolutely unnecessary! But then he thought, they wouldn't have listened anyway. This outcome was as inevitable as the sun rising in the East.

Mankind was born somehow for only one reason. To give birth to the Machine. The mother and father die in their time, and the son of man goes his own way for a purpose his ancestors will never know and could never understand, anyway.

Another jolt of agony coursed through Jack. Damn it! Strawberries strawberries where are you, you rotten strawberry!

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Donald Trump and Ross Perot

George H.W. Bush lost to William Jefferson Blyth III—AKA "Bill Clinton"—in the 1992 Presidential election. The winners write history of course, so the current political thinking is that Ross Perot's participation in the 1992 election was insignificant. Ross Perot got 19% of the popular vote. Current main stream media "thinkers" conclude that an equal number of Democrats and Republicans—as well as independents—voted for Ross Perot. They claim that his one-note message that our current leaders are bankrupting the country found equal footing on both sides of the aisle.
On November 3, Bill Clinton won the election to be the 42nd President of the United States by a wide margin in the Electoral College, receiving 43 percent of the popular vote against Bush's 37.5 percent and Perot's 18.9%. It was the first time since 1968 that a candidate won the White House with under 50 percent of the popular vote. Only Washington, D.C. and Clinton's home state of Arkansas gave the majority of their votes to a single candidate in the entire country; the rest were won by pluralities of the vote.

President Bush's 37.5% was the lowest percentage total for a sitting president seeking re-election since William Howard Taft in 1912 (23.2%). The 1912 election was also a three way race (between Taft, Woodrow Wilson, and Theodore Roosevelt).
Okay, so a century of elections and only twice did the winner not receive a majority of the votes. If you believe that Ross Perot didn't allow Clinton to win then you must believe that as many or more democrats and left-leaning-independents voted for Ross Perot as Republican and right-leaning independents voted for Ross Perot. My feeling is that the conservative vote was split equally between Ross Perot and George H.W. Bush. I don't know if Bill was lucky or clever. What I think, is that Hillary is following her husband's playbook. We won't know whether that's true until Trump loses the Republican nomination and begins an independent run. At that point we will know.

Trump in answer to a question asking whether he's ready to reassure Republicans that he will run as a Republican and will not run as an independent should he lose the nomination, answers that he is "ready to reassure." He just hasn't done it yet. Notice please what he says, and not what you assumed. Watch the following video a few times if necessary. Donald Trump's boycott of the Fox debate on Thursday represents two things. The first is an absolute refusal to go along with the rules of the contest. If somebody tries to change the rules mid-game that makes that person a losing A-Hole who only wants to change the rules because he's losing. Do you think that somebody who refuses to debate on the agreed upon network and timeslot and instead uses his money and celebrity to host a "fundraising event" simultaneously, is the kind of person who will just give up if he loses the Republican nomination? The second thing his boycott represents, is his debate ineptitude. He's not good at it. He doesn't enjoy it. He knows if he gets a tough policy question he'll be seen as clueless and foolish, thereby ruining his chances. So far he's been dealt either softball questions, or the kind of questions that fall within his own specialty which is finance and economics. What will he answer when the questions are on foreign policy? Let's look back a bit and see what happened when George W. Bush took some foreign policy questions in the 2000 election, shall we?
George W Bush had definitely not been briefed for all the questions a local TV interview fired at him on the campaign trail. The Republican frontrunner in the United States presidential elections was subjected to a little foreign policy quiz he obviously did not enjoy.

The BBC's Nick Miles reports: "One out of four, hardly impressive" Asked by the reporter of a Boston television station to name four international statesmen recently in the news, Mr Bush got 25% right - if you consider first names a mere luxury.

First off, Andy Hiller, political reporter for WHDH-TV in Boston, Massachusetts, wanted to know whether the potential next president of the US could name the president of Chechnya.

Mr Bush: "No, can you?"

Instead, Mr Hiller fired off his second question. "Can you name the president of Taiwan?"

Bush: "Yeah, Lee." His score so far: 50%.

But then came the crunch question: "Can you name the general who is in charge of Pakistan?"

Mr Bush needed a breather. "Wait, wait, is this 50 questions?"

Hiller: "No, it's four questions of four leaders in four hot spots, " the reporter tried to put his victim at ease.

"The new Pakistani general, he's just been elected - not elected, this guy took over office. It appears this guy is going to bring stability to the country and I think that's good news for the sub-continent," the Republican candidate offered.

Good news, but not an answer, and the interviewer insisted: "Can you name him?"

"General. I can't name the general. General" was all Mr. Bush had to offer.

The reporter tried another country in the same region, but the Indian prime minister's name did not come to George Bush either.

"The new prime minister of India is - no."

Monday, January 18, 2016

Happy Martin Luther Carnage Day!

I think we should start this holiday honoring "Dr." Martin Luther King Jr. with some videos.

There's plenty more where those came from. If you had Colin Flaherty's massive library of black mob violence you could watch examples like those above for weeks and never repeat a single one.

We could talk about why. Isn't why the most important question? The problem that you get into when asking why, is that the answer sounds racist. So white people end up making shit up. "They're poor." "Their ancestors were slaves." "They're profiled." "They're kept poor by a racist white society." Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Keep making shit up, whitey. Keep trying the same thing over and over hoping for a different result. Yeah, that'll work.

So here we are. And here they are. Why can't we all just get along? There's that why question again. There are poor people all over the world. They don't act like this. Every single human being on Earth has a slave ancestor somewhere in his family tree. I guarantee it! Yes, you have a slave ancestor. Go back far enough and he or she is there. Do you act like this?

Let's talk about profiling. Before you hire someone, do you ask about their educational background? You profiler you. Do you ask about their employment background? Profiler! Do you judge them based on their appearance? You damn profiler! Suppose they have a felony or two? You just can't stop profiling can you? The fact is, that if you're store security, you know it's the kids and the teens that are most likely to shoplift. Sorry kids and teens you've been profiled. If only it wasn't mostly kids and teens that shoplifted. If you weigh 400 pounds you're going to have a hard time getting life insurance, and if you do it's going to cost you a pretty penny. That's profiling. Are you a smoker? Do you drink heavily? Take drugs? Same story on getting that life insurance. Profiling. The fact is that everybody is profiled all the time. Sometimes that profiling works in your favor sometimes it does not. We humans look for patterns. We look for rules that help us determine whether a course of action will be successful, dangerous, pleasurable, deadly, etc. Is she the woman/man for you? Who cares! She/he is HOT!!! Later you might find out that she/he is an idiot. You didn't care at first because something in your DNA said: she/he is the ONE!

Last but not least for reasons why black people are so incredibly violent in comparison to every other race on Earth is the possibility that our racist white society is keeping blacks from succeeding. Actually, I have to admit, there is some truth to that. We passed laws making it possible for a married couple to get divorced for no reason at all. We passed laws making it possible for a woman to divorce her husband for no reason at all, and then force him to keep paying her money for the next eighteen years, AKA "child support." We passed laws that—under the Constitution of the United States of America—should be impossible, yet here we are, and here they are. We passed laws making it legal to discriminate based on race. I.E. if you're black you're put at the top of the hired list. The top of the accepted to college list. We passed laws giving a free lunch card to practically every black person in the country. [the exception proves the rule]


Isn't it time to face the cold hard fact that some people need a babysitter for life, and sadly most black people fit that profile. So "Dr." Martin Luther King, today is your birthday. Actually it's not! Most people probably think it is, but they never bothered to discover why it's always on a Monday.
["Dr," Martin Luther, Jr. Day] is observed on the third Monday of January each year, which is around King's birthday, January 15.
So, Dr. King, as you sit in Heaven looking down at all this black violence, drugs, drive-bys, gangs, endemic black unemployment, and a parasitic lifestyle, what would you say to all the blacks in America today? Would it be more judge not by skin color but by character? Well obviously that's not going to work.

Where did everything go so far off the rails, leaving us with this cataclysmic forty-one-million-black-people train wreck? If you look at history since your death, it's evident that somebody somewhere knew just what to do, to keep your people slavishly checking the vote box for the Democratic nominee. You were a Republican, right? How did they do it, Dr. King?

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Obama's Control Trifecta

These days the news is about wars and rumors of wars. Do you want to know why? Maybe it's tribalism, or maybe it's original sin. Maybe it's the desire of every unhappy human to see the world itself, finally, prophecy after prophecy, end with both a whimper and a bang. There is a fire waiting. I don't know if it's Hell or the Apocalypse, but the fire—that will burn us all—has been patiently waiting in the wings, for quite some time now.

We know it's there; we can feel it, like a splinter in our minds. Why do people so enjoy the suffering of others? No, of course I'm not talking about sanctimonious you! You give to charity. You go to church. You counsel troubled youth or maybe you give blood. You don't eat meat, or maybe you blog about Indi movies that everyone "MUST SEE!"

You don't believe you enjoy the suffering of others? Okay think about every joke you ever heard—that was actually funny and not a stupid pun—where somebody got hurt. There was always a "somebody" who was the butt of the joke. Have you ever lain in your bed at night listening to the thunder and lightning, while the rain poured down from the sky and you felt so happy? Why were you happy? There you were, all snug and warm, while outside your home vagrants hunted for a bridge to crawl under. You were happy! Happy because you are a winner and all the people getting wet are losers. No? I guess it's just me. But let me take you back in time. Back...back...back... Maybe you forgot? Do you remember the day when the bully was picking on the loser? You were happy because it wasn't you. You laughed when the bully laughed. You didn't see anything when the teacher asked what happened. Say it with me ... "I didn't see anything." Okay bristle and deny if that's what you want to do. I was there. I saw your smirks and your grins. I saw the evil glisten of your mocking eyes. I know you down to the glycerin and cholesterol choking your heart.

The bully needs a victim. The despotic leader needs an enemy. The tyrant needs a target. Whether it be Jews or Kulaks, the evil villain needs some people to suffer while he revels in the approbation of the people who are his audience, who are happy because it's not they who suffer.

CONTROL! Give the people food, shelter and an enemy, and you have control. If some rebel, it's because they're sick, insane, criminal, haters, or traitors. They fear science, they fear certain races, or creeds. They're cowards! Yes that's it! They're cowards who fear the knife cutting off their heads. This concept known as Islamophobia is also exhibited by rabbits who similarly display an irrational phobia of being eaten by hawks and snakes.

So, finally, here we are. Evil is manifest in the Islamic State. Obama is the evil villain who gave birth to this abomination. Every horror, every tragedy, every rape, murder, torture, every suffering imaginable lies squarely and truly at the feet of President Hope and Change. How did he do it? How did this stumbling farce—this jackass extraordinaire—manage such unimaginable evil? I call it the evil villain control trifecta: EBT, Section-Eight, and ISISor "ISIL" as Obama likes to call it because he's smart and we're all stupid. Thanks Obama! Because there we were, feeling all unhappy in our snug warm little homes and you were there to bring the rain...of blood.

Islamic State kidnaps 400 civilians in Syrian city of Deir al-Zor: monitor


Islamic State militants kidnapped at least 400 civilians when they attacked government-held areas in the eastern Syrian city of Deir al-Zor on Saturday, a monitoring group said.

The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights said on Sunday families of pro-government fighters were among those abducted.

"There is genuine fear for their lives, there is a fear that the group might execute them as it has done before in other areas," said the Observatory's head Rami Abdulrahamn.

Deir al-Zor is the main town in a province of the same name. The province links Islamic State's de facto capital in the Syrian city of Raqqa with territory controlled by the militant group in neighboring Iraq.

Syria's state news agency SANA said earlier that at least 300 people, including women and children, had been killed during the attacks in Deir al-Zor, but it made no mention of people getting kidnapped.


Some unprecedented news, folks. Never in the history of the United Nations has a U.S. President taken the chairmanship of the powerful UN Security Council. Perhaps it is because of what could arguably be a Constitutional prohibition against doing so. To wit: Section 9 of the Constitution says:

No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.

Nonetheless, the rotating chairmanship of the council goes to the U.S. this month. The normal course of business would have U.S. Ambassador to the UN Susan Rice take the gavel. However, this time will be different. Constitution be damned, Barack Hussein Obama has decided to put HIMSELF in the drivers seat, and will preside over global nuclear non-proliferation and disarmament talks slated to begin September 24th. The Financial Times says:

Barack Obama will cement the new co-operative relationship between the US and the United Nations this month when he becomes the first American president to chair its 15-member Security Council. The topic for the summit-level session of the council on September 24 is nuclear non-proliferation and nuclear disarmament - one of several global challenges that the US now wants to see addressed at a multinational level.

UN officials also hope a climate change debate on September 22 will give fresh impetus to the search for a global climate deal at Copenhagen in December. There are also hopes a possible meeting between Benjamin Netanyahu, Israeli prime minister, and Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian Authority president, that Mr. Obama would host, could lead to a breakthrough about a timetable for Middle East peace.

Saturday, December 26, 2015

'Tis the day after Christmas

'Tis the day after Christmas, and I've just got to admit,
I couldn't be happier that we're finally done with this shit.
No stockings were hung, no sugar plums danced,
no sleighs on my rooftop, not one reindeer pranced.

My wife went to sleep while I watched some porn,
and my kids were all sleeping off an overdose of popcorn
As the twilight deepened I wept at the cost;
another season past tense, another Christmas now lost.

When the stores shook the bell and we heard that ting-a-ling
Like lab rats we ran to buy up everything;
We pulled down the lever to get to the cheese;
but in the end all we were left with was overdraft fees.

If you wonder how Christmas became such a chore,
you can thank all the people who came here before.
They thought up the tree, and they thought up the bows;
they thought up the stockings, whilst calculating cash flows

It is such a filthy racket that I think it's obscene
if the stores would just admit, if they'd only come clean,
they make most of their money in one month of the year
if it wasn't for Christmas they wouldn't even be here!

We're programmed, you see, to dance to their song.
We're conditioned to march when they sing, come along.
We might as well be robots, these stores are so clever
when they play Christmas music we all pull the lever.

Well, I'm cutting it short, this is stupid you see,
as is putting glittery crap on a completely useless tree.
Say "Goodbye" to your money while the department stores cheer.
Say "Merry Christmas and have a happy new year,"
Say "seasons greetings" and "Happy Hanukkah"
and if you're spectacularly dense say "Merry Kwanzaa!"

But whatever you do don't you ever forget,
you've been programmed from birth to buy into this shit.

First you believed in Santa,
Then you found out he didn't exist,
Then you found out you were Santa!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

The Holy Grail of Stupid! Thanks Steve Chapman!

Which scenario is more plausible, thousands of scientists pretending to believe in global warming to get government grants or Cruz denying it to get campaign donations?
That quote comes from an editorial I found at "" Here's another gem:
You have to feel sorry for Ted Cruz. Donald Trump has hogged so much airtime with his cynical demagoguery that the senator from Texas has had a hard time capturing the attention of Republican voters. That is surprising, because when it comes to cynical demagoguery, this is the first time Cruz has ever lost out to anyone.

His patented formula is a mix of repellent ingredients: misrepresentation of facts, baseless smears, exaggerated sincerity and pretended solidarity with the average person. If Cruz tells you it's raining, you can leave your umbrella at home.
I'm going to go out on a really thick limb six inches from the ground and take a wild guess that "Steve Chapman"—the author of the above mentioned psychotic rant—doesn't like Ted Cruz very much.

We won't go into why. We know why ... Okay I bet some of you are demanding to know why "Steve Chapman" Hates Ted Cruz with the kind of Hatred that demands capitalization. Well, since I am a psychic and because I can actually see into "Steve Chapman's" puny little mind I'll just go ahead and divulge the plain truth. You see, Steve is a small "man" and he was abused by his mother ... sexually! ... I'm kidding. I'm just kidding relax ... I'm not really psychic.

But that's not why he hates Ted Cruz. He hates Ted Cruz because "Steve Chapman" desires another ice age, a really long one. That's right, ten thousand years of ice and snow that will eradicate evil mankind from the planet. He probably thinks rats or cockroaches will do a better job as future caretakers of Gaia, in, oh, about an epoch or two.

Let's talk about CO2. Did you know that the Earth is self-regulating? Did you know that plants use CO2 in photosynthesis? Did you know that in response to a greater level of CO2, plants grow bigger, taller, and faster? More plants, bigger plants, and taller plants mean a much greater amount of photosynthesis is occurring than before the increased CO2, meaning that all that extra CO2 is in the process of being converted to oxygen and food. But forget all of that "self-regulation" for now. How significant is CO2 as a greenhouse gas, and what can humans actually do about the temperature, even if they wanted to?

Just how much of the "Greenhouse Effect" is caused by human activity?

It is about 0.28%, if water vapor is taken into account-- about 5.53%, if not.

This point is so crucial to the debate over global warming that how water vapor is or isn't factored into an analysis of Earth's greenhouse gases makes the difference between describing a significant human contribution to the greenhouse effect, or a negligible one.

Water vapor constitutes Earth's most significant greenhouse gas, accounting for about 95% of Earth's greenhouse effect (5). Interestingly, many "facts and figures' regarding global warming completely ignore the powerful effects of water vapor in the greenhouse system, carelessly (perhaps, deliberately) overstating human impacts as much as 20-fold.

Water vapor is 99.999% of natural origin. Other atmospheric greenhouse gases, carbon dioxide (CO2), methane (CH4), nitrous oxide (N2O), and miscellaneous other gases (CFC's, etc.), are also mostly of natural origin (except for the latter, which is mostly anthropogenic).

Human activites contribute slightly to greenhouse gas concentrations through farming, manufacturing, power generation, and transportation. However, these emissions are so dwarfed in comparison to emissions from natural sources we can do nothing about, that even the most costly efforts to limit human emissions would have a very small-- perhaps undetectable-- effect on global climate.
So let's ask Steve's question again, shall we? "Which scenario is more plausible, thousands of scientists pretending to believe in global warming to get government grants..." Hmmm ... "thousands of climate scientists" (with their thousands of families?) who depend on government grants not only to fund their science, but also to feed clothe and house all those families ... or Cruz denying it to get campaign donations? Are we asked by Steve Chapman to actually believe that Ted Cruz gets so much more money from these insane lunatic climate deniers than he does from say the KKK, or the Koch brothers, or why not Lex Luthor too, that just denying AGW is his Golden Ticket to the Oval Office?

Here's another question. How many climate scientists are completely unaware that it is in fact the water vapor in the atmosphere that causes 95% of the greenhouse effect? Do I hear silence? Helllloooo echo echo echo!!!! The answer is none. Not one. Well maybe Al Gore but he's not a climate scientist, he only pretends to play one on TV.

So why not a water tax? Or how about a stove tax. You there eating those boiled eggs! You there! Did you pay your steam tax?

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Have a Whopper Now and Another Later

BOGO Whopper If that link doesn't work, just Google "Free Whopper Coupon."

You say you only want one Whopper? You say that letting a Whopper, or any burger for that matter, sit in the refrigerator ruins it? Well normally you'd be right. The burger glues itself to the bun over time and when you try to peel it off to reheat you end up ruining the bun and have a layer of bread on your burger. The secret is of course removing the burger from the bun before it cools off and then putting that burger in a ziplock bag all by itself. Next you rewrap the bun and veggies in the original wrapper and place all of the above in your refrigerator.

Another trick that I think is very important, is to ask BK to skip the sauce; no ketchup, no mustard, and no mayonnaise. These sauces will make the bun soggy over time. I bet you already have these condiments in your refrigerator! If not put them on your next shopping list. A pack of individually wrapped American or pepper jack cheese, your favorite sauces, and of course a jar of jalapenos to make it great. Lunch and dinner for a little over four bucks.

You're welcome!